Coping
by Antwanaizja
Summary: How will Penelope cope knowing her brothers are coming to visit. Eventual Morcia Darker stuff in this story. Sorry for any typos.
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHORS NOTE: ** this story is going to talk about some darker stuff so beware, anyway enjoy -Antwanaizja

"_PENNY" boomed a voice that spooked the child he was looking for. _

_She was hiding in her bedroom closet, she could hear him coming up the stairs as she shook in fear. She could hear him take the final step of stairs, and walk into her looked through the gaps of the closet doors and sees him looking around, when he stops and looks directly at the closet her eyes go as wide as saucers and her bottom lip starts to tremble knowing that he found her. She watches as he stalks over to the closet and yanks it open and grabs her by the arm and pulls her out._

_"Penny" he asks_

_"Y-yes d-daddy" she asks as quietly as possible_

_"Have you been behaving for your brother while me and your mother were out" he asks_

_"Yes" she says_

_"I'm going to ask your brothers DON'T MOVE" he says sternly ax he begins to walk away. She doesn't because she knows better, she knows not to disobey her father because if she does it won't end well for her. he comes back into her bedroom._

_"Penny" he says_

_"Y-Yes d-daddy" she asks, her lisp coming back she was scared_

_"You know how I feel about lying" he says_

_"I-i-I'm not l-lying" she says_

_"Your brothers say you were bugging them and playing loud music" he says, and she is about ready to cry because she knows what is going to happen now and it's going to be bad and loud. He grabs her and-_

"**noooooo daddy**" Penelope screams as she wakes up sweat from another dream/memory drenched in sweat.

"God I wish those would stop, I can never go back to sleep afterwards" Penelope said to nobody but herself. She looks over at her purple digital clock and sighs. "5:30" she reads "might as well get up and get ready for work and take a shower" she gets up out of bed and heads to her closet to pick out an outfit for work and for the day. "They are going to know some things up with me but I don't care"

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

It's now 8 when Penelope arrives at the BAU , and she is dressed in black leather pants, a white fitted t-shirt and a leather jacket, her eye makeup was Dark and her lips are covered in a black gloss that she hasn't used since her goth/hacker days, she was wearing small gold hops, thin gold bangles, her hair was straightened and her shoes were black platform heels with spike studs on the heels and sides

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she walks into her "lair" and starts to power up her "babies" as she goes to sit in her pink swivel chair. While she is working there is a knock at the door behind her.

"Hay babygirl we have a case, and we have in the round table room" Derek says as he stands in the doorway

"Alright my chocolate god, I'm on my way" she says and he walks away and out of the room and heads to the roundtable. She gets up and grabs her bright pink fluffy pen and her fluffy pink notebook and heads to the roundtable. Once there, everyone stares at her as she takes a seat.

Can we talk about the case instead of staring at me" Penelope asked annoyed

"Yes, sorry" JJ said and she starts to fill everyone in on the very gruesome facts about the new case. The team ends up having to go to Texas to catch an Unsub that is frying/burning his victims to a crisp.

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"hey baby girl what do you have for me" Derek asked

"Your guy, his name is Johnson thomas" Penelope said

"Thanks sweetnews" Derek said right before he hung up the phone

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They catch the guy in record time and are on the BAU jet on their way back home

Hotstuff: u know that we have to talk about the outfit right sweetness

Babygirl: why?

Hotstuff: b/c whatever is going on in your life is affecting my baby, that was'nt you

Babygirl: how do u know?

Hotstuff: baby

Babygirl: fine! When u get back we will have a movie night and talk and relax k?

Hotstuff: yes, sleep crazy girl 3

Babygirl: 3 night

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

Once the team gets off the jet Derek gets into his car and drives like crazy to get to Penelope's house

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"Hey babygirl" Derek announces as he walks through the door he unlocked with his key.

"Hey" she greets. He walks over to the couch where she is sitting

"What are watching tonight " he asks

"Serial Mom" she replies looking at her hands while picking at them

"Okay what is up with you" he asks

"Nothing" she replies still looking at her hands not able to look at him

"Babygirl" he says

"my brothers" she says looking up slightly, he arches an eyebrow as to say "go on"

"They want to come and visit me" she says lookin at him completely

"I'm confused,you always talk about how much you wish you could see the sometimes" he says with a look of pure confusion on her face that makes her want to laugh.

" I don't know, old memories I guess" she says softly, and hoping he wouldn't ask her what kind.

"Okay, what was with the outfit yesterday" he asks

"I wasn't feeling so hot, I didn't get a lot of sleep" she says

"Well hy not, baby" he asks

"Nightmare" she replies

"About..." he asks

"The past, my childhood" she says. "Can we watch the movie now" she asks before he can even ask any more questions

"Okay, babygirl" he says, they turn on the movie and watch quietly as katheen turner murders a bunch of people. Derek is worried about Penelope, she seems... different is the only word that can come to his mind about what is up with his babygirl.

**TBC**


	4. Chapter 4

_**AUTHORS NOTE:**_ I have written some pretty graphic and horrifyingly sad stuff happenin to Penelope and this is just a warning but anyway proceed with caution - Antwanaizja

_"Penny, wake up, you have to get dressed" her mother said coming into her room_

_"Mmmmkay five more minutesmmm" Penelope says tiredly _

_"Now, Penelope, we have to leave to make it to the diner, you know how your father gets angry about being late" her mother said_

_"Fine, I'm up" Penelope said getting out of bed and going to her closet. Her mother had left her room and went downstairs. Penelope opened her closet and pulled out a black, long sleeved dress. She went to her dresser and looker in the mirror to do her makeup. Her makeup was dark and her lips in a black gloss. She put on skull earings and put on a black choker with spikes. She walked over to the wall and grabbed a pair of black, ankle boots with spikes on the heels. She grabbed her coat, put it on and went downstairs where everyone was waiting._

_"Boys, Barbara, go get in the car" her father said looking straight at Penelope. They go leaving them in the living room._

_"Where do you think you are going dressed like that" he asked_

_"To the diner with_ you_ guys" Penelope said _

_"Not dressed like that you're not" he said "I won't allow you to leave the house dressed like that and embarrass everyone" he said_

_"Of course that's all you care about, me embarrassing you and your precious sons" Penelope said. He walks up to her._

_"I will not allow my daughter to leave the house dressed like that" he said_

_"One I'm 16 and two I'm not your daughter I'm your step-daughter" Penelope said defiantly._

_"Who do you think that you are taking to like that" he asked _

_"No one of importance" Penelope said strongly. He slapped her, hard and just stared at her with disgust._

_"Your a bastard, that enjoys beating and raping his wife and beating up on his step-daughter, I wonder what everyone would think of you if they knew who you really were" Penelope said, spitting blood onto the carpet. _

_"You little bitch, I really didn't like you when you were younger and now you are even worse" he said as he wrapped his hands around her neck. She clawed at his hands, she scratch at his arms and face and pulled his hair a couple of times. Her lips started going g pale and her face started turning blue, she started to loose her strength. She saw her world going dark and embraced it. As soon as she closed her eyes and stopped fighting he let her go and she fell to the ground unconscious. He left and locked the door, he got in the front see and drove off._

_"What about Pen" one of her brothers asked_

_"She decided she didn't want to go our to eat as a family" her said and continued driving. _

_Back at the house Penelope was waking up._

_"Damn" was all she said standing up to go into the kitchen. _

_She made herself some cereal having know that they were not going to bring her back any food. She ate thinking about her life, thinking it would have been better if she had never been born or if her parents didn't break up when she was 4. _

_After she'd finished eating she got up and washed her bowl. She goes upstairs to her bedroom and walks over to her dresser. She picks up her beauty bag that had some beauty supplies in it. She pulls out a razor and breaks it pulling out the razor blade from the plastic. She throws the plastic into the little black trash can she has in her room. She locks her door and sits on her bed. She puts the razor against her wrist and pulled it across. She hissed in the unexpected pain, she did the same thing again right beneath the cut she had just made. When she finished she put a band-aid on the cuts and put the razor back into her beauty bag already thinking about the next time she would do this. She lays on her bed and goes to sleep feeling "better"._

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Penelope woke up from her dream and went to the bathroom. She crouched and reached under the sink for her black beauty bag the one she had when she was younger. She pulled out the razor.

_**you said you would never cut you're self again **_she thinks

_**therapy you had to go to therapythinks **_she thinks

_**But it makes you feel better when no one and nothing else can **_she thinks

_**It's your true best friendthinks **_she thinks

_**No that's Derekthinks **_she thinks

_**DO IT, DO IT, DO IT, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO **_she thinks

After thinking about it, she pulls up the sleeve on her night shirt. She feels all the faint scars she has from doing this over the years. She puts the blade against her wrist and slowly pulls the blade across. And again. And again. And again. She puts three "Minnie Mouse" band-aids on her wrist where the cuts were, puts the blade away and goes back to bed.

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Penelope woke when her alarm went off at 7 am. She got dressed in a pink "Hello Kitty" short sleeved t-shirt a pair of blue jeans and yellow and white sneakers, she puts her hair in two ponytails and has her bangs split down the middle her left bang was clipped with a pink barrette and the right with a purple barrette. She grabs her bag packed a lunch and leaves. She gets in Esther and drives to the BAU for work.

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Penelope arrives at the BAU and heads to her office. She sits down and turns on her computers.

"Hey, babygirl, are you feeling better" Derek asked coming into her office. Penelope closes and locks the door.

"They said that they would arrive in a week" she said turning back to face him

"Okay, what is going through that beautiful head yours" Derek asked

'They want to know me, about me and my team, my friends" Penelope said

"Babygirl tell me why that's a bad thing" he asked

"Wee, it might not be but, after everything when we were younger I just wonder" she said

" wonder what" he asked

"Why now, after everything,why now" she said

"I don't know what happened between you and them but I think you should try to relax" he said "this could be a good thing" he said

"I guess" she said enveloping him in her arms for a tight hug. After the hug she pulls away and looks up at him.

"Sorry" she said

"It's okay baby" he says. Before he could stop himself he kissed her, and not the usual friendly forehead kiss, no this was a steamy boyfriend and girlfriend type kiss. She deepens the kiss wrapping her hands around his neck. He wrapped his arms around her waist. She moans and that grants his tongue access to her mouth. They pull back from the kiss but only when the pair need air.

"Derek" she whispered looking deeply into his eyes

"I'm in love with you Penelope, I know that you are going through something and I understand if that prevents you from being able to start something but I want you to know when and if you want to I'll want to be in a relationship with you" Derek said

"Wow, I love you too Derek, and I want a relationship too and nothing is holding me back, my love" she said

They kiss again forgetting everyone and everything else that is around them. They were pulled away from each other by a persistent knocking on Penelope's office door. They stare each other in the eyes, "I love you" Penelope mouthed before she pulled out of Derek's embrace and unlocks door.

"Bossman, what can I do for you, do we have a case" she asks

"I just wanted to check up on you, see how you were doing, you seemed off yesterday" Hotch asked

"I'm better bossman, wasn't getting enough sleep" Penelope said

"Sorry to hear that" Hotch said as he left her office. She closes the door again. She turns around and the kiss, they kiss like they need each other like they need oxygen. He moves his hands around her, one in her hair the other on her ass. He squeries and she moans.

"Baby, we are at work, stud muffin" she said but he does not listen he pulls her over to the door and pushes her back against it. He pulls up her shirt and unclasps her bra freeing her magnificent breasts.

"Baby, you have no idia how much I love your breasts. He grabs her breasts in his hands gently and that triggers something for her.

_it was Penelope's birthday party and her step-father hired a clown, well not hired more like forced his alcoholic brother to do the job for free. Her mother had asked her to get the candles for the cake out of the cabinet because her mother was getting the cake ready. Excptt the candles were not in the cabinet they were in the kitchen closet. Still nothing going wrong...yet. she walks into the closet and sees the candles on the highest shelf. _

_She grabs the ladder, gets on and reaches for them and gets them. She gets off the ladder and puts it back she is about to walk out of the closet when he walks in. She doesn't know his name evev though they are now related, to her he's just the clown. He walks in and being that he's an alcoholic not in recovery he try to hit on her. Gross, because she just turned 12 and because they are related._

_He takes a swig of his bottle of alcohol she doesn't know what it is just assumes it's beer. He asks her how her party is going and what grade she was in and if she had friends, NORMAL PEOPLE things but the he walks up to her and just grabs her tits. And he makes an old timey honking noise while he does it. She pushes him off of her and runs to the backyard where everyone is. She hands her mom the candles and ignores how she is feeling._

_Later that night when everyone was gone and was just family not even her drunk uncle was there anymore. She walked up to her mother and told what had happened and she was serious about telling her father so they did. They walked over to him in the living room it was ten so the boys were in their rooms._

_"Penny, what is wrong with you, why are you crying" he asked her. She looked at her mother and her mother nodded._

_"I want to talk about the clown at my party" she said and he changed he went from caring to sinister and it scared her._

_"Barbara go up to bed I will be there soon" he said looking at Penelope. And she did, she just left._

_"What happened" he asks _

_"He touched me" she says _

_"Where did he touch you Penny" he asks standing up and walking over to her_

_"M-m-my breasts, Daddy" she said looking at the ground feeling dirty_

_"I'm sorry he did that Penny, did you do something to make him think it was okay to do so" he asks and her head shoots up_

_"No, he touched me and I didn't want that, don't people go to the police for that kind of thing" Penelope asked_

_"You could but do you really want to Penny" he said_

_"He should be locked away where all pedophiles are" she almost shouted. He slaps her with the back of his right hand and it hurts because he was wearing rings._

_"D-d-daddy, why did you hit me" she almost cried_

_"Because how dare you say that my brother is a pedophile, a drunk yes a pedophile, no, and I'll be damn if I let you soil his reputation with your bug mouth" he says and she tris to back away only to fall down on the ottoman. He walks to her shaking his head he grabs her by the arm and drags her to the basement. The sound proof basement. _

_He ties her to the wall and unbuckles his belt. "I think you have been a naughty girl Penny, and all naughty girls get spanked" he said turning her around and spanking her with his belt and she screams but no one can hear her._

_"D-da-daddy please I top it hurts" she begs_

_"Have you learned your lesson" he aked and she nods. He untied her and she fell to the ground, he picks her up and lays her down on the matted floor._

_"You see Penny, I don't think you have I think you lied so you could get out of your punishment" he said removing his shoes and tying her hands together._

_"You know how I feel about lying, Penny" he said removing his pants_

_"You are going to learn your lesson, on what/who is and isn't a pedophile, you little bitch" he said forcing her legs apart and himself inside her and she screamed and cried and screamed and cried. She started kicking and pleading for him to stop. He didn't and just kept going but sped up his pace and strength, hurting her even more. He pulled out of her and pulled her up to her knees and forced himself in her mouth. _

_She bit him and he pulled back and slapped her again causing her a split lip he also punched her a couple times for good measure. He broke her nose and gave her and black eye. He forced himself back into her mouth and pumped, grabbing her hair tightly . Al, that could be heard were her ssobs and gags and his grunting . When he knew he was close he pulled out and he came on her face. He put his pants back on, untied her and went to bed._

_Penelope just layer there feeling used nd dirty wanting to die. She almost threw up. But knew if she did he would make her clean it up. She got up and went into the bathroom and locked the door. She turned on the shower and got in, she sat in the tub just crying for hours. She got out and went to the sink, with all her rage and the little strength she had left she smashed the mirror. She picked up a shard and slit her her wrist once for every time she wanted to, kill herself that was ten times. She left her room and cried herself to sleep._

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"LET ME GO YOU BASTARD" Penelope screamed and kneed him in the dick she ran to her shirt and threw it on and before she knew it her team were busting through the door. They just looked at her with wondering and confused looks mostly worried. But there was one face she didn't see, that was Derek's.

"What happened" Hotch asked out of breath forming running all the way her

"Yeah, I'll explain in the conference room, can you get Derek" Penelope asked. They nodded and she went to the conference room and sat, waited and thought about what their reactions might be. She didn't want to have to tell them, but now it was effecting her work and friendships and hopeful relationship with Derek.

**TBC**

**AUTHORS NOTE: **I did not expect to right what happened to her or have that happen to her


	5. Chapter 5

She is waiting in the conference room when they come in. She stands up and takes a step back

"Everyone take a seat, this is important" Penelopesaid. They all tskeep a seat except for Derek, he just stands there looking at her like she kicked his puppy.

"Derek, come here" Penelope said and he does get closer to her, about an arms length.

"What happened" he asked "I'm sorry I just, I should not have forced you if you weren't ready"

"No babe that's not it, it's something completely different, you didn't force me" she said "I'm sorry for kicking you in the dick" she says making everyone chuckle

"When I tell you guys, promise me one thinh" she asks looking at them expectedly, they nodded for her to go on and she did

"That you won't look at me any different promise me" she almost begs. They nodded

"Where do I start" she asks

"How about the beginning" Hotch suggests

"Okay, my brothers are on theit way here and will be next week" she says the furrow their brows not liking where thus was going.

"What did they do" Emily asked

"Please don't interrupt this is hard as it is" she asked and they nodded

"I've been having nightmares, more like flashbacks to my childhood, I know what you are thinking and no my brothers never touched me. When I was four my parents decided to break up, they weren't legally married so it was easy. My mom met my step dad and they got married all was well. until it wasn't. The first time he ever laid a hand on me I was 5.

He told everyone that I fell of the tower at the playground, that wasn't true, the truth was that when he and my mom came home from date night he asked if I was behaving for my brothers, I said I was they did I bugged them and played music too loud. He said I lied and that he doesn't like liars. Before they got home I had hid in th closet. He found me pulled me out of the closet my arm never stood a chance, it broke from the tight grip. Stuff like that would happen occasionally.

When I was 10 I started developing insomnia. I could not sleep and at the time I guess being the police chief was stressful, so at night I could hear him raping my mom, I could hear him as he finished and go to sleep while she was crying. That was almost every night. On my 12th birthday he hired a clown, more like his alcoholic brother was forced, I had went inside to get the candles and his brother groped me and I ran outside back to my mom, to distract myself. Once everyone had left and things were cleaned and my brothers were asleep I told my mom and she said to tell my father, I did and he told my mom to go to bed and he'd be up soon.."

By this point everyone was crying. "Asked me what happened told him, and he asked if I had done something to provoke him" she stopped when she heard everyone gasp." He walked over to me and I backed up but fell because I backed into rhe ottoman, I said we shold go to the pice and the his brother should be locked away with the other pedophiles and he smacked me, backhanded me with the hand that had rings he said that I had to keep my big mouth shut and dragged me to the basememt..."

"Pen..." JJ said

"He tied me to the wall and said I was being a naughty girl and that I needed to be punished. He unbuckled his belt, turned me around and then proceeded to spank me. I screamed but no one heard because the basement was soundproofed but if they did hear me well than I should loose my faith in humanity. He asked if I had learned my lesson and I nodded too pained to speak he untied me. And I fell because of how long I had been standing. He ties my hands together and..." Penelope cries

"H-h-he P-pulled off his pants" she sobs

"Penelope you don't have to continue" Hotch says

"Yes, I do, I have never once talked about it, don't you always say talking about traumatic things helps" Penelope asked and Hotch nodded

"Well then,... he um.. he forced my legs apart and said that I was going to learn what/who was and wasn't a pedophile... then he raped me. The more I begged for him to stop, the worse it got, then he pulled out then... the he forced himself into my mouth and I bit him. He his me so hard I had to a nose job and I got a black eye and split lip. Then he just forced himself in my mouth again, when he pulled out he... he.. ejaculated onto my face. He put on his pants and went to bed like nothing had happened. I cried in the shower that night I just sat in the shower and felt so dirty. When I got put of the shower I broke the mirror and than proceeded to cut my wrist for each time I wanted to die that night.

And when I was sixteen my mom woke me up to go out for breakfast with them I got dressed very Gothic like and went downstairs they were waiting he told mom and my brothers to get in the car and he would be out soon. He asked where I was going dressed like that and it spiraled so fast the next thing I know his hands are around my neck and I'm welcoming the darkness. When I pass out I hear the car drive off for breakfast. I layer there for an hour, when I got up and made cereal because I knew that they weren't going to bring any back and that was when I cut my wrist again and started planning my runaway." Penelope finished crying with her head on the table

Everyone sat there not knowing what to say or how to comfort their friend.

"Penelope I'm honored that you shared that with us." Hotch said

"I had to it was effecting work" Penelope said

"Pen why didn't your brothers do anything" Emily asked

"I guess they took that whole be mean to your little sister thing to heart" Penelope said

"Garcia if you ever need anyone were here we won't turn our backs on you when you need us okay" Reid said and she nodded. She looked at Derek and he looked at her. He reaches out with his hand and she grabs it fearing if she let go everything would fall apart mainly herself.

"Take me home hotstuff please" she pleaded and he nodded as they stood to walk out of a stressful situation to one where his heart breaks because the love of his life is hurting, she was always his weak spot.

"Pen, when your ready I'm here okay" Derek asks driving to her house

"Yeah I just, I need to cuddle with my man, my life sized teddy bear okay" she asks

"Okay" he says

**TBC**


	6. Chapter 6

It's been a week since Penelope told the team. It is now Monday mnd her brothers are staying at a hotel. They decided to meet up for lunch together.

"Derek, I'm scared" Penelope said

"Tell me what's going on in that beautiful head of yours" Derek said

"What if I freak out, like what happened at work last week, I don't want that to happen" Penelope said

"Babygirl as long as I am with you nobody is going to hurt you again I promise" Derek said

"I know, that's why I love you but-" Penelope gets cut off by Derek kissing her,

"No buts sweetness unless it's yours walking with me in the elevator and going to lunch" Derek said making Penelope smile

"Okay your right, let's go I'm hungry" Penelope said

"After we are done with lunch can you tell Hotch I'm going to take the rest of the day off" Penelope asked

"Yeah, but why" Derek asked

"I'm going to see a therapist" Penelope said

"Babygirl that's great, right" Derek asked

"Yeah, just nervous, I never went to therapy for this, only their deaths" Penelope said

"It's going to be okay babygirl, it will all get better" Derek said as he wrapped his arms around her

"I know, you're right, you're always right" Penelope said

"I learned from the best babygirl" Derek said

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They arrive at the restaurant for lunch and Penelope sees her brothers at a corner table

"P hey" Carlos said standing up

"H-Hey" Penelope said

"Who's this" Carlos asked

"Derek Morgan, my boyfriend and best friend" Penelope said as the took a seat

"It's been a long time" Carlos said trying to get a conversation started

"Yup" Penelope said

"So what do you guys do for a living" Derek asked trying to relieve some of the tension

"Well I paint houses, Manny is a police chief, Eddie is a firefighter and Ralphie is a teacher" Carlos said

"Can't they speak for themselves" Penelope asked

"Sure" Carlos said earning himself a look from Penelope

"Remember what mom always said,"if you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all" " Manny said

"If you didn't come to talk, why are you here" Penelope asked

"It was Carlos's idea, we're family we support each other" Ralphie said

"Yup support that's what the Garcia clan is known for" Penelope said

"What's that supposed to mean" Eddie asked

"Just that that's a rally hypocritical thing to say "support", when they died you guys only supported each other, well what about me, no forget me I'm just your sister, wait no step sister so I didn't matter" Penelope said losing her cool

"It was your fault why would we support you, they wouldn't have to have been out looking for you all night if you didn't leave the house past curfew for your stoner friends" Manny said

"Not all of them were stoners" Penelope said

"Well maybe not but it's still your fault, and all for weed that's ridiculous Penelope" Manny said. Derek turned to look at Penelope.

"You used to smoke weed" he asked

"Yeah, just a little" Penelope said looking at her hands

"A LITTLE, the whole house used to smell like weed Penelope"

"Well, my bad" Penelope said not actually feeling bad

"I don't understand you were such a good kid" Ralphie said

"I guess there is a lot you don't understand then" Penelope said

"No need to be rude Penelope" Manny said

"You're such a hypocrite" Penelope said

"NO I'M JUST TELLING THE _**TRUTH**_" Manny shouted making Penelope jump in her seat and Derek look at her.

"Truth, you don't know what the truth is" Penelope said

"I'm so sick of this Penelope, you always thought you were better than us" Manny said

"That's not true" Penelope said

"Really, you always got what you wanted, the toys, the money for anything, you even got Mom's car" Manny said

"I didn't ask for it" Penelope said quietly

"Oh, now you wanna get shy, of course, you don't want your boyfriend to find out about your younger years" Manny said making everyone look at him

"There is nothing he could find out to make him not love me . I'm sure he knows more about my "younger years" than any one of you" Penelope said quietly with tears coming to her eyes

"Really, he didn't know about your stoner friends" Manny said

"Manny chill, back off her" Eddie said "it's been 29 _**YEARS **_I thought we all came because we missed our sister, Manny I think that you are the only one of us still holding a grudge" Eddie said

"Yeah and yelling at P isn't going to change what happened, they are still going to be gone" Carlos said

"God, you always used to take her side" Manny said

"That's not true, what do you mean by that" Manny said

"You could never stand the thought of someone yelling at your big sister" Manny said

"Yelling wasn't all they did" Manny grumbled not so quietly

"What do you mean by that" Ralphie asked. Manny looked at Penelope and raised an eyebrow and her lip quivered.

"You knew" Penelope asked "you knew and didn't do anything" Penelope asked so close to the point of crying. Derek looked at her and knew what she was talking about, so he wrapped his arms around her. Derek let go of Penelope and stood up. He grabbed Manny by his shirt and punched him. The others saw this and stood.

"HOW COULD YOU NOT DO ANYTHING, THAT WAS YOUR SISTER, YOUR LITTLE SISTER, YOU BASTARD" Derek shouted and everyone in the restaurant started crowding around to see what was happening.

"D-D-Derek let him g-go" Penelope said with her lisp back in full force. He looked at her and let Manny go, Derek walked up to her and said

"Let's go"

"Okay" Penelope said as they started to walk out.

"Wait" Carlos said as he caught up to them

"What happened back there" Ralphie asked

"What did he mean" Eddie asked. Derek looked at Penelope and she looked at her watch.

"I'll explain after I drop Pen off, get in" Derek said. They get in and drive off. Derek drops Penelope off at her appointment.

"When did you notice when she was younger that she started acting different" Derek asked

"After she turned 12 but we just thought it was puberty, gross girl things why" Eddie asked

"Did you know your dad hit your mother" Derek asked

"What, no, did he" Ralphie asked

"Pen said at night she could hear him rape her" Derek said

"Oh my god" Eddie said

"There has to be more than that right, she completely changed, She won't ever admit it but she started to cut herself" Eddie said

"Wait, what, why didn't you tell someone get her help" Carlos asked

"I, I don't know," Eddie said

"That wasn't all, you remember her 12th birthday party at all" Derek asked

"Dad had forced his brother to be the clown, mom sent P to get candles inside, the clown went inside, P ran out with the candles but he never came back out" Ralphie said

"She said that the clown groped her, she's been afraid of clowns ever since" Derek said

"That was when I started to notice the cuts, was that why" Eddie asked

"No. Your father was a bad guy" Derek said

"Don't tell me what i think your going to tell me" Ralphie said

"What do you think I'm going to tell you" Derek asked

"That dad hit her" Ralphie said

"He asked what happened, said she was lying and tied her up in the basememt" Derek said

"Oh my god" Carlos said

"And spanked her with his belt" Derek said

"He asked if she learned her lesson and she said she had he didn't think she did. He untied her legs and layer her down but her hands were still tied. He said she was going to learn who/what was and wasn't a pedophile. He, he raped her she-" Derek started getting cut off by Carlos

"Oh god, oh my god, oh god" Carlos cried

"She said the more she begget him to stop the worse it got" Derek said

"He then forced her to give him a blow job and when she bit him he hit her" Derek asked

"she said she had to get a nose job is that true" Derek asked

"Yeah, she said that she slipped in the bathroom, because of the water and broken mirror we believed her" Ralphie cried

"When he was finished he ejaculated onto her face" Derek said

"She said that night was the first time she cut herself" Derek said

"Oh my god. Wait Manny" Carlos said

"Manny knew" Ralphie asked

"Apparently, that's why I freaked out back there" Derek said

"Jesus, everything makes so much sense now the change in behavior the black everything and the pot, it was how she coped, we were terrible to her" Ralphie cried

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"Penelope welcome, thank you for coming" Dr Kelly said

"Thanks for seeing me" Penelope said

"No problem, so it says this isn't your first time in therapy" Dr Kelly said

"No, I was going to deal with my parents death" Penelope said

"And now" Dr Kelly asked

"To deal with my childhood trauma" Penelope said

"Okay, well what happened" Dr Kelly asked

"My step-father" Penelope said

"Where would you like to start" Dr Kelly said

"He would hit me" Penelope said

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"Hotch Pen said that she's going to be out for the rest of the day" Derek said

"How come" Hotch asked

"She starts therapy today" Derek asked

"Oh, okay, yeah I understand, when you see her tell her that we are always going to look out for her okay" Hotch said

"I will" Derek said as he left Hotch's office

**TBC**


	7. Chapter 7

It's been two weeks since her brothers came down and they are still here. Eddie, Ralphie, Carlos and Manny are staying at a hotel.

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"Hey, P" Derek said trying to wake her up

"Huh" Penelope said

"It's almost 1 in the afternoon you need to eat" Derek said

"Let me sleep" Penelope groaned

'Babygirl" Derek said

"Fine" Penelope said getting out of bed. She walked over to her dresser and pulled out a red bra and matching panties. She threw them on the bed and walked over to her closet and from the back pulled out a pair of jeans and a blue tweety bird shirt. She walked over to her bed and pulled off her night shirt. Derek groaned see her naked.

"I'm gonna go warm up your food" Derek said leaving the room. They hadn't had sex yet, it was better if they didn't because Penelope's therapist thinks it would be better to wait. Penelope clasps her bra and pulls on her panties. She pulls on her pants and shirt and walks in to the kitchen.

"Hey" Penelope said

"Hey. Are you ready to eat" Derek asked

"Yeah, Sorry I slept so late. The mess I have to take make me so tired" Penelope said

"Babe, it's okay" Derek said. They ear in silence.

"How are you doing" Derek asked

"What do you think" Penelope snapped

"I'm sorry" Penelope apologized

"Babe, I get it, kinda" he said

"I know" Penelope said "I just wish I could get it over with" Penelope said

"Get what over with" he asked

"The therapy, the crying, the bad feelings that won't go away, or the need to cut everything away. Take your pick" Penelope cried

"Baby" Derek said

"I wish I was dead" Penelope cried

"No pen. Don't say that" he said getting up and walking over to her to try to console her. He puts a hand on her shoulder but she pushes him away and screams

"DON'T TOUCH ME". She runs into the bathroom and locks the door.

"PEN" Derek yells as he tries to open the door. He goes into the living room and grabs the house phone and calls Dr. Kelly.

_"Hello" Dr. Kelly answers_

"Hello, Dr. Kelly, Penelope locked herself in the bathroom I don't know what to do"

"_I'll be right over" Dr Kelly said _

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_about 10 minutes later_

"Dr. Kelly thank you for coming" Derek said

"No problem what happened" she asked. Derek tells her what Penelope said and how she locked herself in the bathroom.

"Okay" she says as she walks over to the bathroom door. She takes her Bobby pin out of her hair and picks the lock. She opens the door and sees Penelope curled up in a ball in the bath tub.

"Penelope, it's Dr. Kelly" Dr. Kelly said

"Hi" Penelope said

"Can you come out to talk" Dr. Kelly asked

"Okay" Penelope said and they left the bathroom. They walked into the living room and Penelope sat on the couch on the far end. Away from Derek. Dr. Kelly sat on the chair. They talked about what Penelope was feeling and how to deal with that instead of locking her self away or cutting. At the end Penelope scooched over to Derek and cuddled into him, while Dr. Kelly prescribed some anti-depressants.

Derek got up and escorted Dr. Kelly to the door and thanked her for coming. He went back to Penelope and picked her up and brought her into the bedroom. He layed her on the bed and tucked her under the blankets. He starts to move when she reaches out for him.

"Please, don't leave me" Penelope begs with tears in her eyes

"I would never leave you" Derek said and climbs in next her

"Can you hold me" Penelope asked quietly

"Of course" Derek said.

**TBC **

**AUTHORS NOTE: **I was gonna make it longer but I like this length. I like the ending to this chapter -Antwanaizja


	8. Chapter 8

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_A little bit later in the day around three _

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Penelope woke up feeling an arm around her and she started to panic. She remembered what Dr. Kelly said about when she started to panic, that she should take a deep breath and take a look around her. So she does and she sees that the arm is Derek's and they are laying in bed and this she calms her down. She removes Derek's arm from around her waist and heads to the bathroom.

She turns on the shower and takes a shower. When she finishes her shower she gets out. She opens the closet _(the closet is in the bathroom)_ and pulls out her pink towel. She wraps the towel around her and walks out of the bathroom and heads to her closet. She pulls out a blue dress and goes to her dresser and pulls out a pink bra with matching panties.

She puts those on and the dress and heads to the kitchen.

"Hey babe" Derek said as he came in to the kitchen after her

"Hey, I was going to make lunch" Penelope said

"We could just order a pizza" Derek said

"I guess" she said

"Want me to call over your brothers" he asked

"Yeah, I want to see them before they have to go back to California" Penelope said

"Okay, you order the pizza and I'll call your brothers" Derek said going to get the phone. Penelope grabbed her phone and ordered the pizza. Derek came back into the room a couple minutes later.

"They said that they would arrive in a couple minutes" he said

"I'm sorry for earlier" Penelope said

"You don't have to be sorry, it wasn't your fault." Derek said

"I just, I don't know." Penelope said

"What" Derek asked

"Sometimes I just think, it won't get better" Penelope revealed

"It will, I know it will. It does" Derek said

"Okay let's just watch some tv till they get here" Penelope said

"Okay"

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_At the hotel_

"Where are you guys going" Manny asked

"We are going to P's" Carlos said

"Oh" Manny said

"Yeah, she's been having a tough time with things lately" Ralphie said

"Can I come" Manny asked "I want to apologize for things"

"I don't know" Eddie said "I don't want to upset her"

"I won't come in if she doesn't want me there. I just want to talk" Manny said

"I guess, but if she wants you gone you have to go" Carlos said

"Okay" Manny said

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_They head off and about half an hour later they arrive at Penelope's apartment _

Derek answers the door and looks into the faces of all four of Penelope's brothers. He invites them in and holds Manny back.

"What are you doing here" Derek asked

"I just want to apologize" Manny said

"Don't upset her, she has through a lot today" Derek said letting him im. They head to the couch and Penelope looks at him.

"There is pizza in the kitchen, how about we get some" Derek suggested to the others and they get up and head in kitchen leaving Penelope and Manny in the living room.

"What do you want" Penelope asked

"To apologize. I realized that I miss my sister and now it might be too late. I shouldn't take it on you, it won't bring them back" Manny said

"I guess we will just have to take one step at a time" Penelope said

"I just have a couple questions" Manny said

"..Okay...What is it" Penelope asked

"What happened. What happened to make you change when you were younger" Manny asked

"I thought that you already know" Penelope said

"I know dad had a temper. It showed with mom, but you did he hit you, is that what happened" he asked

"He did more than just hit me" Penelope said morbidly "what he did to me, caused me physical, mental and emotional pain"

"Remember when I said I fell and I had to get a nose job" Penelope asked

"Yeah. Your little sister needing a nose job is not something you forget" Manny said

"I didn't fall" Penelope said "I broke the mirror on purpose and cut myself. That's not why I needed a nose job"

"What, wait did dad hit you so hard you had to get a nose job" he asked

"Yeah, but there is more you need to know" she said with tears in her eyes

"What" he asked

"My 12th birthday you remember the clown" Penelope asked

"Yeah, dad had an alcoholic brother. Forced him to do it" he said

"He groped me" Penelope said

"What" Manny asked

"I told dad and he.. he got mad, he said I was a liar and you know how dad felt about liars" Penelope said

"Yeah _t__hey need to be punished._ That's what dad always said" Manny said

"He said I was going to learn. Learn who/what was a pedophile." Penelope said "H-He raped me" Penelope cried. Manny felt like all the wind had been kicked out of him when she said that. He got up out of his seat and sat next to her and pulled her into a hug. They just sat there crying in each others arms. Neither of them was a aware of the others coming back into the room.

"I'm so sorry. I was a terrible big brother. I was supposed to protect you" Manny cried

"It wasn't your fault that it happened" Penelope cried

"I was supposed to protect you, it was my one job as a big brother to a little sister and I failed. I don't think I can forgive myself" Manny said

"But if I can, will you" Penelope asked

"I'll try. I have to. I want to be a better brother to you, you deserve it. I'm so sorry" Manny said

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**TBC**


	9. Chapter 9

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_Five days later at the airport_

"Don't forget to call" Penelope said

"We will call, I promise. Stay safe P." Carlos said

"Well be back when we can" Ralphie said

"Yeah, don't think we're going to leave you again. We've learned better. We are going to be better. Especially me" Manny said

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_Later at Penelope's house_

"I'm already miss them" Penelope said

"I miss them too, but they can always visit and we can go see them" Derek said

"I know, I want pizza" Penelope said

"Again" Derek asked

"You got a problem with me eating pizza" Penelope teased

"No I like it when you eat but we have had pizza this entire week babe" Derek said

"I'm sorry, it's my comfort food" Penelope said getting teary eyed

"No P it's okay we can have pizza. I'm sorry" Derek apologized "I just think eating pizza everyday will make you sick. And I like it when my babygirl is healthy"

"I know I'm sorry the anti-depressants make me really emotional sometimes. I think it's the over balance of hormones or something like that" Penelope said

"Oh, P" Derek said quietly "I want you to know that it will get better, you might not think that now but it will and you have got me, the team, and your brothers here. We love you and we are going to do all that we can to make sure you are okay and getting better. It is just going to take time. We all love you. _I _love you"

"I know and I love you too. Just hold me please" Penelope said quietly and Derek wrapped her up in his arms. He led her to the couch and he sat there with her in his arms.

"How about I call the team after I order the pizza...what do you say...huh" Derek suggested

"I think I'd like that" Penelope said barely lifting her head from his hoodie

"Okay babygirl" Derek said kissing her hair. He pulled doubt his phone and order one pepperoni pizza and one cheese. After he did that he called the team.

"Hey JJ, do you mind getting the group together and coming over." Derek asked quietly into the phone so not to wake the now sleeping Penelope.

"Great thanks" Derek said before hanging up the phone. He put his phone down and picks up Penelope. He carries her into her room and lays her down.

"Rest now, sweet girl. You deserve it for the emotional roller-coaster you've been on for the past month" Derek said kissing her forehead.

He heads into the living room and lays back on the couch. He closes his eyes for what feels like a second. When he opens them he sees everyone is already here and engaging in many conversations.

"What happened" Derek asked

"What happened handsome is that you fell asleep. We both did but I woke up a couple minutes ago to let everyone in and get the pizza" Penelope said with a smile

"You were really snoring Morgan" Rossi said. Everyone except Derek laughed.

"Oh, come now handsome. You were and it was hilarious" Penelope said

"How have you been Garcia" Hotch asked

"I've been better. But I am getting better" Penelope said

"Well you look like you have been getting better" Emily said

"Well yeah, I have got my chocolate thunder and my friends and family what more can a girl ask for" Penelope said

"That the spirit" Reid said

"I'm gonna hate when you have to go away for a case" Penelope said

"We've been lucky that we haven't had to go far. But you are right we won't always be this lucky" Derek said "but when i come back and I will be coming back to you". She wraps her arms around him and lets out a few tears.

"Don't cry goddess. I'm here, I will always be here" Derek said

"I know and I love you for it" Penelope said kissing him

"Awwwww" everyone said in unison

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_A little while later_

"This was fun, it feels like we never get time off to hang out" JJ said

"Yeah, but when we do it is like we never stopped" Penelope said

"Well, I guess we will see you at work tomorrow then, goodnight Garcia" Hotch said

"Goodnight guys" Penelope said as the others left. She closed the door and plopped down onto the couch.

"Hey P" Derek asked

"Yeah" Penelope said turning to look at him "what's up"

"I know you have had boyfriends before" Derek said

"Yeah..so" Penelope said

"Did you ever go through this with them" Derek asked

"...um...no I don't think so why" Penelope asked

"Wait..really, then why do you think it is with me" Derek asked

"Dr. Kelly thinks it has to do with our relationship" Penelope said "I mean, we have always been close and we're best friends. What I'm trying to say is I feel when I'm with you. You make me so happy, and mad sometimes but I didn't really feel when I was with them. It was more of a distraction than a relationship. I just wanted to forget and I couldn't so I settled for distraction. But you, you aren't a distraction you are a relationship you are my love. And I think that's what is causing all of these feelings".

"Oh, babygirl. I fell when I'm with you too. You are why I continue to do this job. Without your bright smile and our banter I would've quit. But I have you and I want the world safe for _you, my_ love. Derek said

"I love you Derek" Penelope said

"I love you too goddess" Derek said "come on, lets get you to bed. I know you're tired".

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**TBC **


	10. Chapter 10

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It has been almost 3 1/2 months since Penelope started getting better. She has been going to therapy still and things are looking up. Penelope and Derek have been getting their relationship on solid ground. So while Penelope is at the supermarket buying food and stuff Derek is planning a nice relaxing day at home for her.

Penelope comes home and sees candles spread out throughout her apartment and smiles. She hears music playing lowly and smells dinner. "Derek, Honey where are you" Penelope shouts setting the stuff down. "I'm down the hall" Derek shouted back. She walked down the hallway and heard water running.

She walked into the bathroom and saw Derek sitting on the edge of the tub. He was drawing a bubble bath and there was scented candles around the sink. The lights were dim and there was a plate of food on a try next to him.

"Babe, what is all this" Penelope asked

"It's a day of relaxation for my angel girl" Derek said "now I'm going to leave the room while you get undressed and in the tub but as soon as you are in I'll be back, ok" Derek said

"You don't have to leave" Penelope said and Derek stopped in the doorframe and turns around.

"What do you mean" Derek asked, Penelope has been getting better and has been able to be a little more intamite, but they haven't gone that far and she hasn't undressed with him in the room.

"Exactly what I said, you don't have to leave. Just turn around" Penelope said

"Are you sure" Derek asked

"Yeah" Penelope said and he turned around. Penelope reached for the buttons on her shirt and slowly undid them. She slipped her shirt of her shoulders. Once her shirt was on the floor she pulled down her skirt. She pulled off her panties and undid the clasp on her bra and slid it down her shoulders.

Once she was naked she got in the tub and covered herself the best she could with the bubbles. "You can turn around now" Penelope said. He turns around and sees her in the tub.

"I have to go get dinner out the oven, you try to relax. Okay? " Derek said. When he saw her nod he left and went to finish dinner. Penelope started to relax in the tub. She closed her eyes and listened to the music. When Derek came back he saw she had a peaceful look on her face.

He came in quietly and sat on the floor by the tub. "Hey...ready for your dessert" Derek asked. "But I haven't even had dinner" Penelope said with her eyes still closed. "Well, it's more like a snack in a way" he said. "Well, I guess. Wouldn't want to turn down any of your delicious food" Penelope joked.

He smiled and grabbed the plate. It had chocolate covered strawberries on it. He picked one up and traced her lips with it. She stuck her tongue out and he placed it on and she bit down. He groaned as the juices dribble down her chin.

She opens her eyes and licks her lips while looking in his eyes. He growls and sets down the plate while saying "your playing with fire Babygirl". "Do you come in and put me out" Penelope said. He looked in her eyes to try and figure what was happening and how far he was able to go.

"Do you want me to" Derek asked.

"Well not in this tub, maybe in bed" Penelope said.

"What about dinner" he asked.

"How about this...you be mine and I be yours" Penelope said extending her arms for him to pick her up. "Are you sure you're ready" Derek asked. She nodded and he picked her up and carried her bridal style to the bedroom.

He sets her down on the bed and said "if you want to stop at anytime just tell me, okay". She nods and pulls him on the bed. He undoes his shirt and throws it behind him. He moves one hand to her breast and moves his thumb across the nipple. She whimpers and that is enough encouragement to make him remove his pants and boxers.

He looks down and into her eyes and she wraps her legs around his waist. She smiles and reaches a hand between them and grabs his dick. He groaned as she stroked him. He moved her hand and put the tip at her entrance. She bit her lip as he inserted himself in her.

"Fuck.. you're so big" Penelope moaned. He groaned and pushed all the way in, "God P. You're so tight". She wrapped her arms around his neck and brought him down for a kiss as he pulled out and pushed back in. "Faster baby" Penelope moaned. He quickened his pace as she tightened up around him.

"Mmmmm" Penelope moaned as she came. Clenching around him so tightly he cums with her. He pulls out lays next to her. "I love you Babygirl" Derek said kissing her shoulder. When she doesn't respond he looks at her face.

"Baby, what's wrong. Did I do something wrong, did I hurt you" Derek asked worried. She turns to look at him and a tear slips out. He sits up and wipes the tear, "Baby please talk to me" Derek pleaded she curled into him and said "I love you Derek, it's never been like that. I've never felt so..so..so" Penelope said.

"loved?" Derek asked.

"Yeah" Penelope said kissing his cheek. She looked at him and smiled, a genuine smile, the smile he had been waiting for _her smile, _the smile only she can smile and it reaches up to her eyes and not some stiff forced smile. He kisses her forehead and they lay back down.

He pulls the blankets over them and said "we can have dinner when we wake up. And if we wake up tomorrow morning we will have it then" making her laugh. She yawns and closes her eyes. He kisses her forehead one last time before they go to sleep.

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**TBC**


	11. Chapter 11

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They wake up the next morning and true to his word they eat what was for dinner.

"How do you like it" Derek asked

"It's really good" Penelope said "but I'm glad I got to have you first"

"I think I've created a sex monster" Derek teased

"Takes one to make one" Penelope said

"You wound me" Derek said and she laughs

"I love you" Penelope said right before the phone rings. He groans before getting up and answers it.

"Hello"

_Hey sorry to call but we've got a case, I wanted to give you and Penelope a heads up. It's in California and it's really bad. I don't want to concern you but this one is going to be bad for her._

"Thanks Em" Derek said

"What was that about hotstuff" Penelope asked

"We got a case, and it's in California" Derek said

"Oh, okay" Penelope said

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They get to the office and head to the conference room. Penelope and Derek take a seat next to each other and listen as JJ starts to fill them in.

"Ok, this one's rough. And I mean rougher than the others" JJ said. She clicks the pointer before pictures pop up on the screen. The images are of three different girls. From the look of it they are around 9-12 years old. Normally that would set everyone off on a bad place but it just got worse. They were all blonde haired and brown eyed.

"Their hair was styled in simple waves post mortem?" Rossi asked

"Yeah, whoever the UNSUB is used a curling iron on the edges and applied barettes. The parents had never seen the hair clips before" JJ said

"The were all taken from parks on Saturday afternoons a week apart and showed up the next day like this. They were also raped" JJ said and that was it Penelope left the room and went to her safe place, her "Lair". She locked her door and sat in her chair and cried.

The others in the conference room knew that no matter how this played out. The outcome involving Penelope was not going to be good.

_"Emily was right, this case was going to be rough" _Derek thought

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**TBC**


	12. Chapter 12

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* * *

"Hey baby, I just wanted to see how you were" Derek said

"I'm okay handsome, I could be better but for now I'm okay" Penelope said

"Are you sure" Derek asked

"Yeah" Penelope said "Did you need something or did you just want to hear my voice"

"The voice of a goddess is always something I love to hear but yeah, I do also need some information" Derek said

"Okay, give me what you got" Penelope said

* * *

**A couple of hours later at Penelope's apartment**

"Hey PG I just wanted to know if when we get back from this case, maybe me and JJ and you could go out for a girls night" Emily's voice said over the answering machine. In Penelope's bedroom Penelope was laying in bed.

She was laying on top of the covers with her hair splayed out across the pillow. He makeup was smudged and more specifically her mascara was running down her face from crying.

she was wearing one of Derek's old issued FBI t-shirts. she has on orange shorts. She has one leg thrown over the side of the bed and her head is slouched to the left. She is asleep with a bottle of vodka in her hand.

* * *

**At the BAU next morning**

Penelope arrives at the office severely hungover. She has a huge cup of coffee in her right hand. She is wearing sunglasses on top if her glasses. She is wearing a dark blue sundress with large white polka-dots. She has on white tights. She has a black headband in her curled hair with a giant yellow rose. Her glasses match that flower as do her 6-inch platform heels.

Once Penelope makes it to her office she sits down in her chair and turns on her monitors. She sets her coffee down and gets to work, all the while never taking off her sunglasses. Necessary because of her monster hangover.

She doesnt even drink vodka that often, she had to go but it because the hardest drink she owns is beer and thats because Derek likes beer. whenever she drinks its normally at the bar with the team or with Derek.

When she is drinking with the team its normally some fruity drink. and with Derek she drinks either beer for takeout or wine when Derek cooks in.

* * *

An hour later the team calls in and asks her to do a search on some guy they think is the suspect named Marvin Reynolds.

After that Penelope pulls out an aspirin from her bag and takes it with water from her water bottle.

* * *

About a week later the team find Marvin with a little girl in his basement. They manage to save her unharmed but Marvin was killed.

"Hey baby, were on our way home, the girl was saved and the Unsub is dead" Derek's voice said on the answering machine "Just wanted you to know, none of us were harmed. I know how you hate it when were hurt so we tried to come back unharmed for you. Well I'm gonna call you when we land"

Penelope was sitting on the couch when Derek called, she just dint feel like moving. She went in the bathroom to take a shower and to get ready for bed. She was in the shower for half an hour before she got out.

She brushed her hair, then her teeth. She looked in the mirror and cried. She put on her pink nightgown and grabbed her bag. She looked in the mirror again and just blinked.

She knew what she was about to do. She knew she shouldn't. She knew she had come so far and worked so hard. But here she was. She sat dawn in the tub as it filled up, She pulled out her razor and for a second thought against this.

But it was too late. Her mind had already been made up as she mad the slit across her right wrist. She tried to do the same to her other but she is already losing a lot of blood.

* * *

Derek had lied about not being home yet. He wanted to surprise Penelope with a gift, but it was him who was going to get surprised.

"Pen. Im home" Derek said walking down the hallway. He had already taken his shoes off by the door. As he walked down past the bathroom he felt something wet his socks. He didn't even hesitate to kick down the door, hoping he was wrong.

But he knew he wasn't when he saw her laying there with a large cut on her arm. He pulled out his phone as he dove for her. He put pressure on the cut as he called 911.

_"911 whats your emergency"_

" My girlfriend, shes cut herself badly. I think shes tried to commit suicide

_"An ambulance is on the way"_

And as time passed Derek just hoped that he wasn't too late.

**TBC**


	13. Chapter 13

At the hospital Derek is calling the team. They arrive and are trying to calm Derek down, and stop him from doing anything irrational.

"I..I thought she was doing better" Derek said

"She was, this case was the trigger" JJ said

"We knew that something was going to happen. We just weren't prepared for this" Rossi said

"What if i didn't make it in time" Derek said

"Don't think like that" Emily said

"But..what if. I cant lose her" Derek cried

"Were not gonna lose her" Reid said "She's strong and right now she need s help. We are going to help her. We have to. She is gonna make it"

* * *

About three hours later they were still waiting for news on how Penelope was doing.

"What is taking so long" Derek asked

"She is probably still in surgery. You did say the cut looked deep. They need to make sure it is stitched up properly and to make sure it doesn't get infected, and bandage it correctly" Reid Said. Just then the doctor walked in.

"Penelope Garcia" the Doctor said

"Yes" Derek said and they all stood

"Would you prefer the good news first or the bad news" The Doctor asked

"Good news" Derek said

"Well. She made it through the surgery, though we did lose her three times. The cut was incredibly deep and required 27 stitches. She lost quite a lot of blood so we have to monster that but that issue should fix itself."

"What is the bad news" Derek asked

"She is in a coma. Medically induced but still a coma. It is till her body can function on its own. Her heart stopped as I said before during surgery, that's why we decided it was necessary . We have to monster her. Though if things go well we can take her off the meds and she should wake up." The doctor said

"Should?" Derek asked

"Normally a suicide attempt would not be this serious but this one Is, she tmanageoto cut two main arteries in her wrist. This is only a precaution. When we take her off the medication she should wake" the doctor said

"I say should because of the severity but I personally think she will awaken when we take her off" the doctor said before walking Off. By this time most of the team had tears in their eyes.

"I...I need to take a walk" Derek said before walking out.

"I'll go find out her room number" JJ said before walking toto the main Desk. Hotchner pulled out his phone and dialed a number.

_"Hello" A voice said_

"Is this Fran Morgan" Hotch asked

_"This is she" Fran said_

"This is regarding your son Derek" Hotch said

_"Oh, my goodness . Is he alright"_

"Yes, forgive me for worrying you. Your son is going to need you here. Penelope Garcia has had an 'accident'." Hotch said not wanting to go over details on the phone

_"Derek's babygirl?" Fran asked_

"Yes and I would appreciate it, if you could come down before he does anything rash" Hotch said

_"I'll be on the next flight" Fran said_

* * *

**TBC**


	14. Chapter 14

The next Day Fran has arrived and Hotch picked her up from the airport and they drove to the hospital. As soon as they arrived at the hospital and made it to the floor where Penelope was admitted to. Fran ran over Derek and wrapped her arms around him.

"Oh, mama." Derek said as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Come with me, you look like you haven't eaten or slept" Fran said

"How can I do those things when the love of my life is laying in a hospital bed?" Derek asked

"I don't know baby boy, but if she was awake and saw you like this she would kick your butt" Fran said

"I just love her so much ma" Derek admitted "She was doing so well but this case just destroyed her"

"Well you know when she does wake up she is going to need all the support she can get" Fran said

"I get that. I'm gonna be with her through everything. I want to help her, I love her" Derek said

"Well to take car of her, you need to take care of yourself first honey" Fran said

"I know, you are right. I'll go home and eat and bathe. I love you ma" Derek said before he left Penelope's hospital room. Fran stared at where her son had left then turned around and sat in the empty chair beside Penelope's bed. She took her hand in hers and sighed.

* * *

Back at Derek's house, Derek had entered the house and went into the bathroom. He expected to see water mixed with blood all over the tub and floor but to his surprise everything was cleaned. He went over to the tub and sat on the rim.

He sobbed for a while before he turned on the shower. Once he finished he got out, dried off and changed into his night clothes. After he changed he made lunch. Once he finished eating lunch he went to his bedroom and decided to get some sleep.

* * *

_In Penelope's mind, she was in a field wearing a loose white dress with flowers and a daisy flower crown. She was walking through it, watching butterflies fly above her._

_"Honey" A feminine voice said beside her._

_"Mom?" Penelope asked as she turned to look at the woman._

_"Oh, baby" Barbara said. Penelope started looking around her._

_"He's not here" Barbara said_

_"Oh. Where is here?" Penelope asked_

_"Limbo" Barbara said_

_"What?" Penelope asked "Why am I here"_

_"That's up to you baby" Barbara said_

_"What do you mean?" Penelope asked_

_"It's up to you if you want to stay" Barbara said_

_"In limbo?" Penelope asked_

_"No me, in heaven" Barbara said_

_"In heaven? Why would I go there?" Penelope asked_

_"Why wouldn't you? Honey, I know what happened. I didn't then but I know now. Most of your life you did good things and helped put away bad people" Barbara said_

_"But I did bad things too." Penelope said_

_"You mean with Shane?" Barbara asked and Penelope nodded_

_"Honey, you loved shane. I saw it from above, but that wasn't who you are. So you did what you needed to do to be who you are" Barbara said_

_"You think so?" Penelope asked_

_"I know so" Barbara said "But I also can't tell you to stay here"_

_"What?" Penelope asked_

_"It's your choice to stay or go back. But you have to make the choice soon" Barbara said_

_Penelope thought about what she wanted to do. She did miss her mom, but she would miss everyone if she stayed. She knew they would miss her and she would miss them, More specifically Derek. She knew what he must have felt to find her like that. She knew if she had found him like she was and he died she would be lost. So she made up her mind._

_Penelope looked at her mom and said "Momma I'm going home. I'll miss you everyday but I can't leave Derek. Not when we just got it right. I love you mom."_

_"I love you too honey. And you won't lose me, I'll always be in your heart" Barbara said_

_"Mom. What's happening" Penelope asked_

* * *

In Penelope's hospital room her machines started going crazy and Fran ran out to get help. The doctor came in with a couple of nurses as the group outside waited for news, any news on what was going on.

The doctor walked out of the room and up to the group.

"Well. Is she alright" JJ asked impatiently

"She is perfectly fine" The doctor said

"Well, then what happened" Fran asked

"She woke up." The doctor said and everyone sighed with relief and joy know she was alive.

"She's asleep right now but you all can go in as long as you let her rest." The doctor said

"Thank you doctor" Hotch said

"No problem." The doctor said before walking away

* * *

**_TBC_**


	15. Chapter 15

Back at Derek's house the house phone was ringing non stop. He got out of bed and picked it up.

"Hello?" Derek said into the phone

_"Derek?" JJ asked_

"Yeah?" Derek said

_"Derek, Penelope woke up" JJ said_

"W-What" Derek asked

_"She woke up. She's sleeping right now but I thought you would want to be the first person to see her when she did wake up again" JJ said_

"Okay, thanks I'll be there soon" Derek said before hanging up. Derek quickly got changed and left for the hospital.

* * *

When Derek arrived at the hospital he ran inside and towards JJ.

"She's awake?" Derek asked still not believing it

"Yes go see her" JJ said

Derek ran off in the direction of Penelope's room. He walked into the room and saw her sleeping. He sat in the chair by her bed and her eyes opened.

"BabyGirl" Derek whispered

"I'm sorry" Penelope said

"Why" Derek asked

"For you having to find me like that" Penelope said

"Don't be. I'm glad I found you. I couldn't bear to lose you" Derek said

"I know, have you called my brother's?" Penelope asked

"Yes, last night they were catching this mornings flight" Derek said

"I saw my mom" Penelope whispered

"You did?" Derek asked

"Yeah we were in a field of daises wearing flower crowns catching butterflies and letting them go. It was beautiful." Penelope said

"Did you see **_him_**?" Derek asked

"No, we were in limbo. She said I could go to heaven and I wouldn't see him there. She found out Derek, she found out what he did to me. She looked so heartbroken" Penelope said

"A good parent would be Penelope, and she was good" Derek said

"I know, but I couldn't leave you. If it were you I wouldn't want to live anymore. I love you too much" Penelope said

"Good. We were all so worried about you" Derek said

"I'm sorry" Penelope said quietly

"Next time you feel like breaking baby just talk to me. You know I understand" Derek said

"I will. Does that mean you still want to be with me?" Penelope said

"Of course I still want to be with you BabyGirl" Derek said

"I love you Derek" Penelope said

"I love you too" Derek said "Are you up for more visitors?"

"Yes" Penelope said

The others chose that time to walk in.

"Hi" Penelope said

"You has us all worried" Emily said

"I'm sorry" Penelope said

"It's okay we just want you to know that we are here for you" JJ said

"I know, and as soon as I get out of here I'm gonna make it up to all of you" Penelope said

"You don't gotta make it up to us Garcia, were family we just want to be here for you" Reid said and everyone nodded their heads in agreement.

"Okay" Penelope said and the doctor walked in.

"Well miss Garcia, you gave us quite the scare" He said

"Sorry" Penelope said

"It's okay but you do need to stay here for the next couple of days" He said

"Why?" Derek asked " I thought she only had stitches"

"That's true but she need s to be put on suicide watch for the next 72 hours as a precaution" The Doctor said

"But she's not gonna do it again" Derek argued

"Derek honey, calm down. The man is just doing his job" Penelope said

"But he's making you out to be suicidal" Derek said and the others except the doctor slowly backed away from this argument.

"I am suicidal Derek" Penelope said "I did just try to kill myself, you can't just deny that like it didn't happen"

"I'm not trying to deny it Penelope I'm just..." Derek said "I'm sorry"

"It's okay honey, but you gotta let the man do his job" Penelope said

"I know, I'm sorry" Derek said kissing her forehead

"After the 72 is over you can take her home but you need to make sure she doesn't pull her stitches" The Doctor said before leaving

"I didn't mean to yell at you" Derek said

"I know, me neither" Penelope said "I love you"

"I love you too" Derek said kissing her forehead again

* * *

**_TBC_**


	16. Chapter 16

Derek went to the airport to pick up Penelope's brothers after there flight. Derek drove them to his place to drop off there bags and get some rest. After he had dropped them off he headed back to the hospital.

* * *

Once Derek got to the hospital he went to Penelope's room before visiting hours were over.

"Hey, BabyGirl" Derek said entering the room.

"Hey handsome" Penelope said tiredly

"Your brothers arrived, I just came from dropping them off at the house." Derek said "How are you?"

"Tired" Penelope yawned

"Well, then you should get some sleep BabyGirl" Derek said

"Will you be back tomorrow?" Penelope asked knowing he had to leave for the night and might get called away on a case.

"Of course and I will be bringing your brothers with me" Derek said standing up

"Yay!" Penelope said "Do you really have to leave?"

"Yeah, but if you behave and stop pouting, I might be able to sneak in some breakfast" Derek said

"I'll try. You know how much I hate hospitals" Penelope said before closing her eyes. Derek kissed her forehead before leaving the room. He left the hospital and drove back to his place.

* * *

The next morning Derek woke up early and got dressed in workout clothes and took Clooney for a run. When he got back he went to the bathroom and took a shower before going back to the kitchen and making breakfast.

When he finished making breakfast the guys woke up and cane downstairs, summoned by the smell.

"That smells great" Manny said

"Thanks." Derek said

"What time does visiting start?" Carlos asked

"In an hour, I hope she's gotten some sleep. Last time I saw her she looked exhausted" Derek said

"She might have, but you know her. Once a hard-head always a hard-head" Ralphie said

"I remember once when we were younger, she climbed the tree in the backyard even though mom told her not and that it was dangerous. She did it anyway and made it half way up before coming back down because she was hungry" Eddie said

"Yeah, and one of the branches broke and she fell. She broke her arm and had to wear a cast. She puck out a pink one because it's Penelope." Ralphie said

"I remember her drawing on it with sharpies because and I quote _it's not pretty enough._" Carlos said

"Yeah, that was when life was simple and we were all happy. After that, she had more trips to the hospital but those were for different reasons entirely" Manny said

"I wish I could've done something" Eddie sighed

"We all do" Carlos said

They spent the rest of breakfast going over Penelope's more happy childhood memories. Almost two hours later Derek looked at his watch and started packing up some breakfast to bring to Penelope.

"I think we should head out now. She might be awake now and visiting hours have started" Derek said and they nodded.

* * *

They got the hospital and the Garcia brothers followed Derek to Penelope's room.

"Derek" Penelope sighed seeing him.

"Hey sweetness. Did you sleep?" Derek asked

"Mhm hmm. And I didn't cause any of the nurses trouble" Penwlope replied making the others laugh

"Well that's good. Guess what?" Derek said

"You are a sculpted god of chocolate thunder" Penelope said

"Tell me something I don't know" Derek laughed

"I have a sweet tooth" Penelope said

"Oh really?" Derek asked "Anything I can help with?"

"Give me some sugar in the form of your kisses" Penelope replied

"I think I can do that" Derek said before leaning down and capturing her lips in a heated kiss. They got so lost in each other they forget that there were other people in the room until someone cleared their throat.

"Oh, forgot you were there" Derek said with a chuckle

"We figured" Carlos said

"Sorry" Penelope said blushing but not really sorry

"No you're not" Eddie teased

"I'm not" Penelope confirmed

"How have they been treating you in here?" Manny asked

"Fine. I just want to go home" Penelope said

"Well, Ms. Garcia, I don't see why you can't leave later" A doctor said as she entered the room.

"Really?" Penelope asked

"Yes, your wrist has been healing excellently better than we expected actually but I digress. Your mental health was really what we were really worried about and we don't see you as a threat to yourself or anyone else so later after you've eaten we will get your discharge papers and you can leave." The doctor said before exiting the room.

The group looked at each other with smiles gracing their faces and Derek leant over and kissed Penelope. "I'm coming home" Penelope sighed happily. "And this time, you are going to stay home and talk to me when it gets rough." Derek said.

"I promise that I will talk to you and our family" Penelope said seriously.

* * *

_**TBC**_


	17. Chapter 17

**AN: Happy V-Day and I'm so sorry for the wait, anyway enjoy**

* * *

Later that day after Penelope ate, Derek handed her a bag of clothes for her to change into. After she was dressed the doctor came in with her discharge papers. She was released from the hospital and the group went home.

Penelope's brothers had already left ahead of time to get ready for Penelope's welcome home party, so it was just Derek and Penelope driving home together. Derek was wearing blue jeans a T-Shirt and boots. Penelope was wearing a pale pink dress and silver platforms and a sparkly pair of cat ears.

Derek packed this outfit for Penelope because it was his idea for the surprise. He wanted to surprise her because he knew that once they left the hospital she would be feeling embarrassed and would want to lock herself away in their bedroom.

He takes a glance at her and notices her lost in thought. Her face was bare of any makeup but she still had a natural blush covering her pale cheeks. Her hair running down over her shoulders.

She looked at him and smiled, her cheeks blushing. He smiles as he pulls up to their house. "I love you, you know that right, BabyGirl?" Derek asked looking at her.

She stared at him, her eyes filling with tears. She nodded her head. He brought his hand up to her cheeks and wiped away the tears that fell down her cheeks. She leaned in and kissed him.

Once they pulled away from each other, they got out of the car and went inside. Derek entered first with Penelope right behind him. He turned on the lights and everyone jumped up from behind the furniture shouting, "SURPRISE".

Penelope stopped walking and gasped at the sight in front of her. JJ and Emily were standing next to each other holding cake, Hotch and Rossi were holding balloons and Reid was he standing there awkwardly like he always does at parties.

They were all wearing party hats. She looked around the room and saw balloons, posters that said welcome home and more colorful decorations. Turning back to the group in front of her and sees Derek wearing a party hat and a smirk.

"Did you do this?" Penelope asked Derek with more tears in her eyes. He nodded before wrapping her in a hug. "Why?"

"Because I know you, Penelope." Derek said. "Now are you up for some fun and games and cake?" Derek asked and she nodded.

* * *

The party was going smoothly, everyone was having a good time and enjoying themselves when about and hour into the party things started dying down and people were getting tired and ready to go home.

Derek went over to were Penelope was. She was talking to JJ and Emily. She looked like she was having a good time. A better time than she had had in the past. She was smiling and laughing. He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her midsection and she gasped.

She stiffened at the shock but then relaxed into his arms. She turned her head and kissed him. She turned her body around so she could wrap her arms around him. Completely forgetting about everyone around her she got lost in the feel of his lips on hers.

They slowly pulled back and away from each other when they were both in need of air. When they were apart Derek looked in her eyes and knew what he was about to do was the right thing. "I love you." Derek said.

"I love you, HotStuff." Penelope said as she stepped out of his arms slightly. He grabbed her ands before kneeling on his knee. Everyone gasped but Penelope didn't seem to notice, hypnotized by Derek's eyes.

_"Penelope, we've been through a lot together just these past months alone. But in all the time we've know each other we have had some great times, like our movie nights but also some bad time like battle. Now with what is going on in our lives I've stood by you because I love you and I understand more than anybody else. I love you so much that when you hurt I hurt. You've known me for a long time and know that I never used to think about settling down and having kids but I've thought about it a lot more now than I ever thought I would and that's all because of you. I guess what I'm trying to say is **will you marry me?"**_

* * *

_**TBC **_

**AN: one last chapter left now :)**


	18. Chapter 18

**_AN: This chapter is half chapter and half epilogue enjoy._**

* * *

_"What I guess I'm trying to say is **will you marry me?"**_

Derek was still kneeling for about a minute before he started getting worried. He stood up and Penelope shook out of her trance. "Yes, God yes!" Penelope exclaimed. Penelope wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. Derek's hands went up and tangled themselves in her hair.

The others around them clapped and cheered them on and we're happy for their engagement. The sound of their friends brought them out of the trance they were and and they pulled away from each other.

"I say we must celebrate this engagement of our two favorite people" Rossi said. The group cheered and Penelope kissed Derek on the cheek and wrapped her arms around him.

"You're too good to me" Penelope said to Derek as he slid the ring onto her finger. "Really? I think that you're too good to me. A goddess like you needs to worshiped by someone on your level." Derek replied seriously.

"Like a god?" Penelope asked and Derek nodded his head. "You _are _a god honey. "

"Oh, then I guess that we are perfect for each other." Derek said before kissing her.

* * *

**_epilogue-six years later_**

Penelope woke up to her and Derek's five year old daughter jumping on top of her. "Hey, Muffin" Penelope said opening her eyes to look into those darker than hers but lighter than Derek's.

"Hi mommy" Bailey said. Penelope picked her up brought her into and embrace before setting her on her lap. "Where is your father?" Penelope asked and Bailey shook her head. Her dark curls flowing in a tangled mess, "Daddy said not to tell."

Penelope laughed before attacking her daughter with kisses. Bailey squealed kicking and flailing her arms and legs in the air trying to escape from her mother. Derek walked in and smiled.

"Happy Anniversary, BabyGirl" Derek said setting the breakfast he was carrying on the dresser. He sat on the bed prying his laughing daughter away from her smiling mother and asked "Have you been trying to eat the baby again, dear?"

"Maybe? But in my defense she's so sweet she's like a little Hershey kiss" Penelope said and Bailey laughed. "I'm not made of candy mommy. Daddy...mommy is so silly" Bailey told her father.

"That she is, Munchkin. Think we should do something about it?" Derek asked his daughter. The child nodded, "What should we do?" and Bailey whispered something in his ear making him laugh.

Derek let Bailey go and she launched herself onto her mother. Derek attacked Penelope from the side with tickles while Bailey used kisses. Penelope screamed with joy.

"Okay, Munchkin I think mommy learned her lesson." Derek said backing away and his daughter followed. "How about you go get dressed so that when Nana Fran comes you're ready to go okay?" Derek asked.

"Okay daddy, love you" Bailey said jumping off the bed. "love you too, Munchkin" Derek called after her. "What about me?" Penelope called once she caught her breath. "I love you too mommy" Bailey shouted back from her bedroom.

"She is so your daughter" Derek laughed and Penelope hit him with a pillow. "Mercy, mercy. Please...I beg." Derek laughed out when Penelope wouldn't stop. "How was your dreams?" Derek asked when Penelope stopped.

"Fine. I didn't have any nightmares." Penelope admitted. She still sometimes struggled with the memories when a case got really bad, this previous case being one. "I think that I am going to be fine honey."

"I know but I just want to make sure that you were okay. I know that this case had hit you pretty hard, with kids and all" Derek said.

"I know but I'm fine. So what is on that tray that smells amazing?" Penelope asked sitting up. Derek smiled and got up and grabbed it and brought it over. He set the tray down and Penelope looked at it.

She looked up at Derek and smiled. "God, you treat me so well, Honey" Penelope said. "I treat you how a goddess deserves to be treated." Derek replied.

He kissed her once before saying, "Happy anniversary, BabyGirl."

"Happy anniversary HotStuff." Penelope replied before kissing him and digging in to the meal he made for her.

* * *

**_FIN_**

**_AN: Thanks for reading :)_**


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